Mothers | Catalyst Quotes

Archive for the category “Mothers”

11 May 2014

“Happy Funny Mother’s Day”

Today is Mother’s Day and at many homes there are flowers, cards, gifts and memorials given to our mothers. We get sentimental and mushy and talk about how special our Mother is to us and we place her on a pedestal and look up to her and proclaim her to be the Queen of the Day. Our Mothers are all that but we also want to acknowledge the funny side of motherhood and how funny our Moms can be at times. Here are some funny quotes I’d like to share with you on this special Mother Day because sometimes parenting and being a Mother can be a funny thing. Happy Mother’s Day to all our funny mothers. (AP)

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“The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.” (Calvin Trillin)

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“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.” (Phyllis Diller)

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“The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air of the tires.” (Dorothy Parker)

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“My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.” (Jack Nicholson)

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“No matter how old a mother is, she watches her middle-aged children for signs of improvement.” (Florida Scott-Maxwell)

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“Don’t forget to pick up a bottle of wine for your Mom for Mother’s Day. After all, you’re one of the reasons she drinks.” (Anonymous)

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“Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease.” (Lisa Alther)

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“My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it.” (Mark Twain)

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”In spite of the seven thousand books of expert advice, the right way to discipline a child is still a mystery to most fathers and … mothers. Only your grandmother and Genghis Khan know how to do it.” (Bill Cosby)

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“If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” (Ferrell Sims)

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08 May 2014

Mom – “You’re the real MVP.”

“I don’t think you know what you did. You had my brother when you were 18 years old. Three years later I came out. The odds were stacked against him. Single parent with two boys by the time you were 21 years old.

Everybody told us we weren’t supposed to be here. We moved from apartment to apartment by ourselves. One of the best memories I have is when we moved into our first apartment. No bed, no furniture, and we just all sat in the living room and hugged each other because we thought we made it.

When something good happens to you, I don’t know about you guys, but I tend to look back to what brought me here. You woke me up in the middle of the night in the summer times. Making me run up a hill. Making me do push-ups. Screaming at me from the sidelines at my games at eight or nine years old.

We weren’t supposed to be here. You made us believe. You kept us off the street, put clothes on our backs, food on the table. When you didn’t eat, you made sure we ate. You went to sleep hungry. You sacrificed for us. You’re the real MVP.” (Kevin Durant, Basketball Player, at his MVP acceptance speech, talking about his Mom, 5.6.14)

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“Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everyone I’ve ever known.” (Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters)

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“Hug and kiss whoever helped get you – financially, mentally, morally, emotionally – to this day. Parents, mentors, friends, teachers. If you’re too uptight to do that, at least do the old handshake thing, but I recommend a hug and a kiss. Don’t let the sun go down without saying thank you to someone, and without admitting to yourself that absolutely no one gets this far alone.” (Stephen King)

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“The voice of parents is the voice of gods, for to their children they are heaven’s lieutenants.” (Shakespeare)

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“If you raise your children to feel that they can accomplish any goal or task they decide upon, you will have succeeded as a parent and you will have given your children the greatest of all blessings.” (Brian Tracy)

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“Every child comes with a message that God is yet not discouraged by man.” (Unknown Author)

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Posted in Attitude, Challenges, Change, Children, Courage, Family, Inspiration, Life, Mothers, Quotes | Leave a comment

04 Dec 2013

“Advice From Mom”

“To my babies,

Merry Christmas. I’m sorry if these letters have caught you both by surprise. There is just so much more I have to say. I know you thought I was done giving advice, but I couldn’t leave without reiterating a few things in writing. You may not relate to these things now, but someday you will. I wasn’t able to be around forever, but I hope that my words can be.

Don’t stop making basagna. Basagna is good. Wait until a day when there is no bad news, and bake a damn basagna.

Find a balance between head and heart. Hopefully you’ve found that Lake, and you can help Kel sort it out when he gets to that point.

Push your boundaries; that’s what they’re there for.

I’m stealing this snippet from your favorite band, Lake. ‘Always remember there is nothing worth sharing, like the love that let us share our name.’

Don’t take life too seriously. Punch it in the face when it needs a good hit. Laugh at it.

And Laugh a lot. Never go a day without laughing at least once.

Never judge others. You both know good and well how unexpected events can change who a person is. Always keep that in mind. You never know what someone else is experiencing within their own life.

Question everything. Your love, your religion, your passions. If you don’t have questions, you’ll never find answers.

Be accepting. Of everything. People’s differences, their similarities, their choices, their personalities. Sometimes it takes a variety to make a good collection. The same goes for people.

Choose your battles, but don’t choose very many.

Keep an open mind; it’s the only way new things can get in.

And last but not least, not the tiniest bit least. Never regret.

Thank you both for giving me the best years of my life. Especially the last one.

Love,

Mom” (Colleen Hoover, Slammed)

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“My mother’s last word to me clanks inside me like an iron bell that someone beats at dinnertime: love, love, love, love, love.” (Cheryl Strayed, Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar)

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17 Oct 2013

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“The Effect You Can Have / Your Mom Knows Who You Are”

“It is understandably human nature to see yourself as small.

Until you stop seeing yourself as just human.

You are pure energy: infinite, inexhaustible, and irresistible.

Should be easy for you,

(signed) The Universe” (Mike Dooley, Notes from the Universe, 4.15.13)

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“You are so busy being YOU that you have no idea how utterly unprecedented you are.” (John Green, The Fault in Our Stars)

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“Is it so bad, then, to be misunderstood? Pythagoras was misunderstood, and Socrates, and Jesus, and Luther, and Copernicus, and Galileo, and Newton, and every pure and wise spirit that ever took flesh. To be great is to be misunderstood.” (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

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“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everyone will respect you.” (Lao Tzu)

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“I think …. you still have no idea. The effect you can have.” (Suzanne Collins, Mockingjay)

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“Eventually you realize that your mom knows exactly who you are and has been trying to break it to you gently all your life.” (Robert Brault)

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Posted in Attitude, Challenges, Change, Courage, Inspiration, Life, Mothers

12 May 2013

“When God Created Mothers”

When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of “overtime” when the angel appeared and said. “You’re doing a lot of fiddling around on this one.”

And God said, “Have you read the specs on this order?” She has to be completely washable, but not plastic. Have 180 moveable parts … all replaceable. Run on black coffee and leftovers. Have a lap that disappears when she stands up. A kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a disappointed love affair. And six pairs of hands.”

The angel shook her head slowly and said. “Six pairs of hands …. no way.”

“It’s not the hands that are causing me problems,” God remarked, “it’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers have to have.”

“That’s on the standard model?” asked the angel. God nodded.

One pair that sees through closed doors when she asks, ‘What are you kids doing in there?’ when she already knows. Another here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn’t but what she has to know, and of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say. ‘I understand and I love you’ without so much as uttering a word.”

“God,” said the angel touching his sleeve gently, “Get some rest, tomorrow….”

“I can’t,” said God, “I’m so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick … can feed a family of six on one pound of hamburger … and can get a nine year old to stand under a shower.”

The angel circled the model of a mother very slowly. “It’s too soft,” she sighed.

“But tough!” said God excitedly. “You can imagine what this mother can do or endure.”

“Can it think?”

Not only can it think, but it can reason and compromise,” said the Creator.

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek.

“There’s a leak,” she pronounced. “I told You that You were trying to put too much into this model.”

“It’s not a leak,” said the Lord, “It’s a tear.”

“What’s it for?”

“It’s for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness, and pride.”

“You are a genius,” said the angel.

Somberly, God said, … “I didn’t put it there.” (Erma Bombeck, ‘When God Created Mothers)

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